I didn't think you were actually going to do it. Now I'm going to have to work harder to match up to you. I won't feel right standing beside you with all my weakness at hand. I'm going to be strong. I'll do anything to be good enough for you.

You're different . I'm afraid to put my hands on you .. the way I use to. I'm afraid that I'm going to mess something up when I do. My tears start to build up when I think of you .. my chest feels heavy and my throat is numb. Why did you have to change all of a sudden ? You're a completely different person .. and honestly with you like this .. I want to change too ` but I hate the feeling. I can't say anymore . . and I can't tell you either because you have your reasons too ` and I contradict them. I just hate how you're .. not you.

Truth be told , I hate that time of the month where a girl's body goes through ` .. you all know what I mean, whether you are a boy or a girl . I hate my emotions especially , they bounce up and down and never wants to be neutral. I want it to end T - T

The main reason for this ? My emotions usually end up being taken by the only boy who makes my rainy day go away. I'm always so mean to him. I don't understand myself. For some reason I'm not liking the way his changing his looks. Its making me feel so uncomfortable, and honestly .. I miss the way he looks before . He looks good now, but the way he looked before .. he's so cute. Whatever he says, I take it to heart so much. Even remembering it makes my heart feel heavy. ( That's because some of the things he said , wasn't a joke ) That's what I'm thinking. I know its unfair for me to do this.. but I'm at a lost of what to do. I can't even say a word to him , and I want to avoid him , but then again I don't want to. Does that make any sense?

I'm just afraid of his change. I'd have to change too if he did that's for sure , and I really don't want to. I'm not only worried of what he'll think of me after all this , but what other people will think of us .. as a couple I guess. I feel like shiett , sometimes. & he doesn't make it any better either. I quit . HE can do whatever he wants ..

.. as for me, I just want everything the way it USED to be , eventhough I know the possibility of that is 0 to a gazillion.

Labels: emotion, hatred., i hate you

Please don't forget me through all of this .

` Hello stranger :] I'm an islander and considered an alien = . = ' Thank you for dropping in , and I must say this blog right here lives now for my venting purposes. Feel free to read if you must , just don't be so harsh on your thoughts about me. – C