Monday, June 15, 2009
" Look at us baby, look at us now. " @ 10:59 PM
Finally a day out with the asians :D I never thought I'd be able to do in awhile, although sneaking isn't really the way to go = - = ' I had fun today surprisingly, and I can't wait for the next outing = ) Chinatown didn't seem as boring with a group around you and well strolling downtown with Brian was fun for a bit. But having them bums > Tash, Jammee, and AJ was even better. Too bad Neale couldnt go . Brian and I went back to the Cultural Centre and it really brought back early memories : ] Those were the days and it really did make me miss my B so much. I finally saw more of downtown because of this outing : ) Western Canada High school , Craves, Southcentre mall .. OMG . I could go crazy : ) Little town near WCHS wasn't bad either. This really made me forget about the stupid finals I have to go home to after, the chores I have to get done, work and of course any other problem I'm currently bearing on my chest. Outside was really beautiful : )
But of course this didn't last long, knowing I still had a few units to go in biology. FML . I also had a lot of stuff on my mind, including work. I have forgotten that I'll be beat from working and taking summer school at the same time. I'm pretty scared of how my health is going to be like, but I NEED the money T - T I can't wait to finally save up and accomplish my life goals. LAWLER. I'm excited though .. because at the end of all this .. hopefully I accomplish my current plan.
Even if my relationship with you is at a rough stage, I guess I have no choice but to still wait, because of how much I feel. I really can't wait till I have to myself again : ) and I can't wait for our next outing = DD PLANS YEO , PLANS.
Labels: exploration, fun, iloveyou, stress, summer school, work
Sunday, June 14, 2009
___ : @ 10:35 PM
It feels like it isn't worth the fight anymore. Sometimes it scares me how I'm so caught up in this and you don't even seem to care. Everything just seem to go easy for you. Its hard for me you know, when I never know what's going on with you. Its hard not to worry when you're not the same anymore and you have no idea how many times I've tried to not think of you. I promise myself that we'll work things out but that's not going to be the case if you let me do all the work. I'm only contented now because other people are supporting me through this. Now I need you and you don't even know how much I do. I'm really frustrated with you , but I promise to be patient so that's all I can do now .. wait for you.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
" You should take care of me ... " @ 9:14 AM
I will Debiner . you fag : ] and feel better soon .
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
" There's nothing I can say to you, nothing I can do to make you see .. what you mean to me. " @ 9:16 PM
It doesn't feel right to say "It's over", when it feels like it barely began. Its hard to be away from you and I know you do your best to keep us together. From the beginning we know its going to be hard work. Hard work to be together and to stay together. One more day of school left ... although its exciting I still can't help but think to myself how fast everything seem to have gone by. I also can't help but think that there will be less time not only for friends .. but to spend with you. School seems to have helped us see each other throughout ` and now that its gone for two months I can already see how tough its going to be for both of us.
Every single waking hours I stay in bed and think to myself how easy it would be if we weren't together, but my heart won't let it go. I have to be with you. Second thoughts always come to me, but of course in the end I still choose you. Its like I'm hoping that everything will turn out the way I want to in the end. I still sit here .. hoping .. hoping like theres no tomorrow.
PS : Settle down with your changes, because I'm starting to hate it so much.
Labels: changed., doubts, frustations, you
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
hmmm . @ 9:15 AM
Two more days ` and few weeks of freedom : ) Although I'm going to be busy when school ends, I'm still pretty excited that its ending. More chances for me to meet new people outside of school + more time with friends , and work. It'll be interesting to see how my summer will play out. But I did create some goals for the summer ,
1. Grow my hair out. That sounds pretty strange, but I'm going to try to survive summer without a haircut for awhile.2. Earn enough money for new PC , cellphone and clothes as well as savings money : )3. Get that second job .. hopefully .4. Do better in math and hopefully get in summer school.5. GO TO CHURCH MORE !6. Spend more time with myself.7. Meet new people.8.Think of him less : /9. Change myself a little ` attitude wise.10. Practice driving so I can finally get my license = DD11. FLIP CREW ! = D12. Relax a little, and go on that tri to Vancouver = )13. Facebook less .14. Join a youth group15. Go to stampede with all 3 groupsI want to achieve most of these. Especially 1 through 8. I can't be moping around over stupid things for thisl long, so I need to keep myself busy : )
Labels: end of the year, goals, summer
Monday, June 8, 2009
BB` b . @ 8:18 PM
say the
words I want to
hear ,
It doesn't feel right to say "It's over", when it feels like it barely began. Its hard to be away from you and I know you do your best to keep us together. From the beginning we know its going to be hard work. Hard work to be together and to stay together. One more day of school left ... although its exciting I still can't help but think to myself how fast everything seem to have gone by. I also can't help but think that there will be less time not only for friends .. but to spend with you. School seems to have helped us see each other throughout ` and now that its gone for two months I can already see how tough its going to be for both of us.
` Hello stranger :] I'm an islander and considered an alien = . = ' Thank you for dropping in ,
and I must say this blog right here lives now for my venting purposes. Feel free to read if you
must , just don't be so harsh on your thoughts about me. – C