There are still days when I think about what we could have been. Sometimes I regret things and think to myself, "Did I do the right thing?". It crushed me a bit to see that the only thing that connected us is lost forever ... but I'm thinking that maybe I don't regret things, its because I miss you. You know I love you, but I can't go on. I need you, but I'm glad that things are over between us. I've been thinking for the past month that you don't need me anymore, and I was right. You're doing fine without me. You CAN live without me and although I hate you for breaking every promise you made ... I still can't help but keep some of my feelings for you. I wish I kissed you goodbye and held you one last time, but I didn't think that there would be a last time for us and I guess I'm wrong. I expected too much from you and now I'm suffering from it. I hated you so much .. and I wished you'd feel the same way I was feeling ... and I wished you never experience happiness again. But hoping for bad things to happen to you made me realize that it won't do me any good.. because then I'd just be another version of your bad side. I just can't get over the fact that when I see you, we pretend like nothing ever happened between us ... you can't even look at me straight anymore and I didn't want things to end this way. I just hope that someday you realize that what you've lost did mean a lot to you. I hope you gain the experience and better understanding of relationships by being with someone else .. so when this occurs again then you'd learn to fight for the one you really love ... because through you I learned so much. One of them is that I never needed you in the first place , and second of all you're not the first or the last. Thank you for the memories .. i love you and I miss you but I'm happy , happy that at least in the end we finally figured out that we weren't meant to be.

Why does every entry have to have a title? I mean .. what if your latest blog entry is well .. full of more than one subject? Can you really call it a title? I couldn't think of a title, so I decided to not give this entry a title. Honestly, it sounds stupid that I'm even talking about titles XD If you read my last words carefully, then you would see that I kept using the word "title" in every sentence. But I'm good now. So this morning, I woke up thinking to myself, " Another monotonous day .." I never knew how much your bed can give you that shelter you long for from the outside word .. until today. Have you noticed that your bed is like another person? Its another comfort zone for you. When you're tired ( which is normal ) you lay in your bed. When you're happy you jump on on it and when you feel sad you cry on it. I feel good knowing I have a warm place to go home to every single day. Most people don't have that. I've taken so much things for granted, and realizing this only now sort of makes me feel ungrateful especially to God. I mean how much did he give? I can say a lot, but now know its more than that. Can you believe all of this came from the comforts of knowing I had a bed? LOL . Welcome to my wacky world. My point is .. when things get hard, I know God will always be there for me.

Its amazing how people can surprise you anytime right? I sure was surprised. I know that people change overtime .. but you know what the surprising thing is? The type of change people go through. What I mean to say is, sometimes you know that people will change, eventually .. but you don't know if its a bad change or a good change. I've recently expereince a bad change .. and of course that surprised me, because I never knew a person ( who I thought was perfect ) can ever go through that type of change. I'm amazed at myself, for working so hard for that person ... just so the connection between us does not end. I learned in the end that it wasn't worth the fight at all. It just sucks that I learned it after a lot of hurt and pain and suffering. But I guess we all go through it. I'm even more surprised that in every bad change I experience, something better comes along .. and I'm just hoping that this time, things will well .. fall into place. " There's always gonna be another mountain .. I'm always gonna have to try to make it move ... " , its tRue, even for a Hannah Montana song. XD But my point is life has to go on .. even when things change. You just gotta accept it. The harder you fall , the better you learn.